Marriage Allowed: Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, New Hampshire  Vermont, Washington, D.C. 

Recognize Marriages Performed in Other States: Rhode Island, New York, Maryland

Civil unions: New Jersey 

Gay Domestic Partner Laws Vary Widely  From State to State: Same-sex couples living in California, New York,  Nevada, Oregon, Washington State, Colorado, Hawaii, Maine and Wisconsin can take advantage of domestic partner laws which in some cases are like civil unions. They offer access to the state-level rights and responsibilities of marriage. Coverage in each state is different. 

IMPORTANT: Protections granted to married straight couples but denied to same-sex couples: Social Security benefits, immigration, health insurance, estate benefits, family leave, nearly all federal protections.

Updated 3/4/2010

History: The original wedding rings were worn by the ancient Egyptians. They wore the wedding band on the forth finger of the left hand in their belief that the "love vein" ran directly to the heart and thereby connected the two.

Left or Right Hand: Gay men who choose the right hand often say that they do so because they feel they have a bit more privacy. Men in the military or public safety or who are not “out at work” Other individuals choose the right hand for political reasons, signifying that they see their relationships as different from heterosexual relationships. Individuals who choose the left hand often say that they want to make a statement that they see their relationships as equal to a heterosexual relationship and want to be clear with that statement

Types: Today, wedding bands can be found or custom made in a variety of different precious medals, like gold, platinum and silver. Also wedding bands can be made out of alternative metals, like stainless steel, or titanium. Consider carefully when considering a alternative metal like titanium or stainless steel, the option to resize your wedding band at a future time is greatly diminished or eliminated entirely.

-24 karat gold: This is the typical wedding band of most gay men. Most gay men lean towards thicker plain styled gay wedding rings of this high purity (99.0% to 99.9% pure gold - depending on local laws) precious metal.

-18 karat gold: Slightly more pure (75% gold purity) than the more common 14 karat gold.

-14 karat gold: This gold is of a lesser quality (58.5% gold purity) but a choice for lots of couples on a budget.

-Silver: When the word budget is somewhere in your vows this is the affordable ring for you.

-Platinum wedding rings: This is one of the more expensive alternative metals you can choose. Often times this type of metal can run higher than 24 karat gold rings.

1. Get on the same page.

Eliminate unpleasant surprises by taking a little time on the early side of your planning to talk about what each of you has in mind for your special day.

2. Set a budget.

In the U.S., weddings cost $26,000-$30,000 on average, it’s critical to measure one’s finances against anticipated expenses. It’s possible to host a wedding for less and easier than you can imagine to host one for more! Before you begin, think about your finances and how much you and your partner can afford and whether or not you’ll be asking parents to chip in.

3. Build a guest list.

Develop two lists: a list of those who are “for certain” invites and a list of those you’d like to invite if budget and event accommodations allow. Now that you’ve got two possible numbers to work with, begin shopping around for event spaces and caterers to determine, roughly, how much your budget and event vision is affected – adversely or otherwise – by the size of your list.

4. Book your ceremony, find a minister, (if applicable) & reception site!

Don’t make the mistake of announcing your wedding date until you have a contract in hand for your ceremony and reception (and Minister) Don’t be surprised if you find that you are have to book a space nine months or more in advance.

5. Get organized.

Never underestimate the value of an effectively organized binder!

6. Become a wedding crasher.

Some of the best ideas  come from going to other people’s weddings!

7. Reach out to other brides & grooms.

Swap information and ask questions with others who have just gotten, or who are planning to get married.

8. Design a day that reflects YOU.

Though you can find many established wedding traditions already on the books thanks to the heterosexual couples who have gone before us, remember that you have the freedom to design a ceremony which best reflects you and your partner. 

9. Take another look at your budget.

Now that you’ve booked your photographer, a great venue, a caterer, and chosen fabulous invitations assess your progress. Determine what adjustments you can afford to make in the home stretch. Aim to start your married life delirious with joy, rather than devastated by debt.

10. Take the last week off!

The best part of celebrating your union will be enjoying all of the love your family and friends will be heaping upon you.